58. cheap thrills

And we'll never be royals,
It don't run in our blood,
That kind of lux just ain't for us,
We crave a different kind of buzz
- Lorde; Royals

I've been on all types of dates, from the worst, to the best type, on the dating spectrum. One of the best ones was a restaurant I went to in KL, it was one of those exclusive types on the top floor in KL, where you needed to reserve a few weeks in advanced, you could see the majestic skyline of KL, the waiter serving you donned a white cloth on his left arm, and the dress code didn't accept anything less than heels and dresses for girls. My date for the night wore a crisp shirt, I thought he looked so handsome.

But there was an interior motive to this glitz and glam.

He turned out to be an asshole who wanted a shag on the first date.

Needless to say, I didn't see him again when he hinted he could get a room in the hotel. 

Ugh. After that, I swore I wouldn't be blinded by a guy's bling bling.

I've been with my current boyfriend for a few months, and so far we haven't really gone anywhere fancy. No fancy restaurants with discreet tips to the receptionist, no places where the meal is worth a quarter of my salary. It's the simple things, actually.

People say you need to have money to have a partner, partly that's true, but you don't need an obscene, lavish amount. It's not like you're planning to pick out diamonds from his/her bellybutton kan? 

Things like travelling a lot together. Forcing myself to stay awake while he drives to Penang 4 hours straight. Trudging through a muddy field at a friend's wedding. Waking up at midnight and dragging him to McD for a cheeseburger. Walking in the city, spilling our hopes, dreams, and goals to each other. Watching a movie and feeling his fingertips creep around mine. Waiting for both schedules to be free so we could watch Game of Thrones together. Waiting for him to come home so I can lay my head on his lap and unload the daily news that unfolded. When he kisses my forehead. I'm so fond of these things, and every time I think about it, I shiver because it's too good, it's too great.

These are the things I want to remember forever. I think those lavish dinner dates are great, but only if you're dating the son of Roman Abramovich. It's great if it happens once in a while. But if it happens everyday, then the value of the date itself will disintegrate. All these expensive places won't mean much because it's happening everyday. How much foie gras and wagyu beef can you eat anyway?

And at the end of the day, which one will last forever? The three-hundred-ringgit worth of lobster in your stomach that you'll churn out anyway, or the memories that the finest restaurant can't give you? 

Ideas for a cheap date:

1. Picnic at a park 

2. Movie dates

3. Hot dogs, currypuffs and people watching at Ikea!

4. Coffee dates

5. Save up your money and go travel!

26. the stages of dating

Relationships really take a lot of effort and is very draining. There are many levels, stages, and does-and-don'ts to do when you begin to reveal yourself slightly to a potential soulmate. It usually starts by meeting someone through a mutual friend, at a bar, through work, etc.

"I think you're cute and funny, let's go out sometime. Give me your number."
"Okay, sure."

Stage 1: I don't know you, you don't know me.

This is the stage where you watch everything you say, what you wear, whether anything is stuck on your teeth, where you want to laugh like a walrus but instead you laugh politely. This is the stage where you hold your fart from the second you meet that person until you go to the toilet, or worse, home.

Potential conversation:

A: So, where did you grow up?B: In KL... I went to SMKXX... my parents split when I was seven.. A: Oh really, I'm so sorry to hear about it. Are you alright?B: S'Okay... I was forced to move to XX bla bla bla

And lots of smiling, tucking your hair behind your years, body signals, etc.

Then it's:

- LET ME PAY -- OH NO I INSIST -- NO PLEASE, I'M THE GUY -- I BELIEVE IN 50:50 -- HOW BOUT YOU TAKE NEXT ROUND-- OKAY -

Before: I had a great time - me too - soooo I look forward to seeing you again - okay, I'll call you later. 

And then you'll shut the car door and sigh to yourself.

And smile when you received a text/whatsapp from him saying "I had a great time tonight, free tomorrow?"

Thus you guys start whatsapping/texting each other daily.

Stage 2: You know XX?

This is the stage when you try to act coy and play cool, when all you want to do is call/text/whatsapp each other every day. You'll receive random messages from him throughout the day, with silly 9gag images and jokes and "I was thinking about you..." You try to slot in dinner with him once a week regardless of how busy both schedules are.

Stage 3: Motherfaka.

This is the stage when you find out that he's a devious cunt that has a girlfriend. All hell breaks loose. 

Stage 4: Armageddon

This is the stage where you curse the asshole for all eternity and you swear that you'll never let a guy in anymore, that why oh why are all guys are jerks. ugh.

Stage 5: Repeat Stage 1 - 4.

- THE END -