Happy Anniversary to us!

Today marks our one year anniversary, when we were officially Husband-And-Wife.

Being married for one year so far has been blissful; every marriage has its' hiccups, and we do have the small arguments. Not the crazy ones though where you're throwing plates at each other. My husband is more conservative with finance and he prefers to stay at home, whereas I tend to splurge more and I like to go to out and explore new shops and restaurants.

It's quite a lot of compromise, but Alhamdulillah, we make it work. My husband calms me down, and he makes me feel most at ease, before bedtime, when he recites passages from the Quran.

I realized I never did a proper post on our solemnization (nikah), so here goes, the day, one year ago, in pictures!

Make up touch by Sabrina Hashim. She's awesome.

One of my closest friend; we've known each other for over ten years; we fought over boys, men, every thing. She was there for me, and is now a mother to a beautiful baby boy. Our friendship has matured and grown.

The groom and his family waiting to be invited into the house. The gifts you see in front of you are hantaran; presents that bride and groom present to each other during the day.

My then-fiance sitting down, preparing to talk to the Tok Kadi (the Solemnizer who represents our Islamic Religious office).

The Tok Kadi talks about the obligations and responsibilities of a husband before the akad nikah (formal contract of marriage, verbally and on paper).

The Tok Kadi makes him read his responsibilities and duties as a husband. He's laughing because I told the Tok Kadi in advanced that my husband is "pelat" (slight lisp) in Malay, so the Tok Kadi was making fun of him.

The lafaz akad nikah ceremony, where the imam will say that the groom agrees to marry the bride, and the groom must reply without hesitation, stuttering or errors. Alhamdulillah, took my husband just one try!

I only saw this picture one year post-wedding! This is my dad, and looking at this pictures makes me so emotional; it was very hard to hold back tears during the event. This was during the doa (prayer) read by the Tok Kadi for a happy and blessed marriage. 

Hehe he placed the ring on my hands. That was the first time we actually managed to talk to each other!

My family.

My grandma, brother, sister-in-law and aunties.

My new family!

My husband's grandma.

Hantarans!

The dulang girls (bridesmaids) who helps me through this crazy day.

Or you can just watch this video for the fastest recap hehe. Happy first anniversary, b! I love you.

85. What makes a marriage work?

Me and the fiancé had an interesting conversation the other day.

He mentioned an article he read online, aaaand it goes something like this:

'Apparently there was this marriage counsellor, who wrote an article.. she said that nowadays the reason divorces are more frequent is due to the fact that women now are more independent compared to the olden days. Before this, women would stay at home, cook, do chores, have kids, looks after the kids, whilst the men would go out and find ways to make money. Men would be the one who cheat. Because they can. Women were more dependent on men. 

'But now, women are equally as successful, if not even more. Not all women stay at home, cook, do chores. Many women opt not to have kids. They find their own way to make money. Women are the one with the power to cheat.

'In the counselling sessions, the men had adopted more feminine traits, and the women adopted a more masculine trait. The men would be the one breaking down, crying. Whilst the women would admit, on their part, that they had cheated on their spouses. So in a way, society had switch roles,' he concluded, driving nonchalantly down Tol Sungai Besi.

'Okay, b, what is your point?' I asked.

'There is no point. Just sharing with you,' he replied.

Gender inequality or equality? 

When I thought about it, it's quite true. Women are so successful now! We are so driven and determined to forge our own career paths. And wow, my heart is full of pride to hear many females doing so well. Vivy Yusof from ProudDuck.com, Malaysia's own entrepreneur who successfully launched an online fashions store. Indra Nooyi, CEO of PepsiCO, the second largest food and beverage business in the world by net revenue. Beyonce. Oprah. Kimora Lee Simmons. Powerful, strong women.

Sometimes, I am scared at my own determination to make my own way in the world that I tend to say yes to every opportunity I get to expand my name.

But maybe... along the way, some career women (not these mega women) got caught up in the thrill of the chase. The adrenaline. It's fine when you start dating that you experience butterflies in your stomach. When you fret for hours about what you are suppose to wear on a date. When you're so comfortable with someone, you tend to forget about dressing up. Out comes the sweats, the hoodies. Letting him see you barefaced is okay. So maybe that is when the sizzle fizzles out.

BUT! When someone else woos you, you melt and immediately that's when the relationship is in troubled waters. That is when you forget about what you and your partner for life has gone through. Instead, you start having feelings for someone who is feeding you what you have felt before.

I don't think you get married, have kids, live old together and that's it. I think a marriage is hard work. I've witnessed many people who are married, and the love just disappears after X amount of years. All the imperfections are easy to see, easy to pick out, you begin to find his quirkiness annoying. All his flaws irritate you to no end.

So, in a marriage, I think there should always be a balance between partners. But the best thing is, to never let a marriage become routine. Yes it's nice to watch Walking Dead marathons. Go for brunch. Attend weddings together. Read books together. But the key is you need to always add spice and surprises. A vacation. A date. A movie. Reading interesting articles to each other, even if the other party is yawning away. A walk in the park. Roses. Chocolates. Special, er, nights. I think many people have emphasized on how sex is an important part of marriage. Hopefully, when someone reads this, he/she realizes that I love white and pink roses ahem. With God's will, may our union be blessed and full of good surprises!

This post is a tribute to my favourite Hollywood couple, BRANGELINA, WHO FINALLY WHO TIED THE FREAKING KNOT! I still love you Angelina even though you're a homewrecker. Ho!

65. Silly conversations

It's a sign you are meant to be when you have the following conversation:

Him: Omg baby, did you know Vin Diesel plays Dungeons and Dragons?
Me: ...
Him: I have more respect for the man.
Me: ...
Him: Yup, makes him legit.
Me: Ooh speaking of Vin Diesel, I dreamt that The Rock and I met overseas, and we fell in love overnight, and the next morning we were packing our luggage to fly back to Malaysia and Vin Diesel comes and asks which of my friends he can hook up with...
Him: ...

It's just fate, baby.

58. cheap thrills

And we'll never be royals,
It don't run in our blood,
That kind of lux just ain't for us,
We crave a different kind of buzz
- Lorde; Royals

I've been on all types of dates, from the worst, to the best type, on the dating spectrum. One of the best ones was a restaurant I went to in KL, it was one of those exclusive types on the top floor in KL, where you needed to reserve a few weeks in advanced, you could see the majestic skyline of KL, the waiter serving you donned a white cloth on his left arm, and the dress code didn't accept anything less than heels and dresses for girls. My date for the night wore a crisp shirt, I thought he looked so handsome.

But there was an interior motive to this glitz and glam.

He turned out to be an asshole who wanted a shag on the first date.

Needless to say, I didn't see him again when he hinted he could get a room in the hotel. 

Ugh. After that, I swore I wouldn't be blinded by a guy's bling bling.

I've been with my current boyfriend for a few months, and so far we haven't really gone anywhere fancy. No fancy restaurants with discreet tips to the receptionist, no places where the meal is worth a quarter of my salary. It's the simple things, actually.

People say you need to have money to have a partner, partly that's true, but you don't need an obscene, lavish amount. It's not like you're planning to pick out diamonds from his/her bellybutton kan? 

Things like travelling a lot together. Forcing myself to stay awake while he drives to Penang 4 hours straight. Trudging through a muddy field at a friend's wedding. Waking up at midnight and dragging him to McD for a cheeseburger. Walking in the city, spilling our hopes, dreams, and goals to each other. Watching a movie and feeling his fingertips creep around mine. Waiting for both schedules to be free so we could watch Game of Thrones together. Waiting for him to come home so I can lay my head on his lap and unload the daily news that unfolded. When he kisses my forehead. I'm so fond of these things, and every time I think about it, I shiver because it's too good, it's too great.

These are the things I want to remember forever. I think those lavish dinner dates are great, but only if you're dating the son of Roman Abramovich. It's great if it happens once in a while. But if it happens everyday, then the value of the date itself will disintegrate. All these expensive places won't mean much because it's happening everyday. How much foie gras and wagyu beef can you eat anyway?

And at the end of the day, which one will last forever? The three-hundred-ringgit worth of lobster in your stomach that you'll churn out anyway, or the memories that the finest restaurant can't give you? 

Ideas for a cheap date:

1. Picnic at a park 

2. Movie dates

3. Hot dogs, currypuffs and people watching at Ikea!

4. Coffee dates

5. Save up your money and go travel!

53. The way I feel inside

It's weird that I feel the way I do. I never know it could feel like this. That the gulf of love and passion is so vast and endless. It's like I'm on an emotional high. A constant high. The giddiness I feel inside when he looks at me.

The butterflies and knots in my stomach, trails a euphoric feeling across my head, lifting my soul into this feeling of love. I love the warmth of his fingers as he traces it on the back of my hand, or intertwines my fingers in his. When he whispers, 'I love you', it's the sweetest thing I have ever heard, the way his mouth curves into a 'U', sends my head into a spin. It's the best sugar rush I have ever had without the real thing.

When he arches his neck, and laughs his comical laugh, sometimes it sets my spine tingling, and my blood warms with the vibration of his sweet voice. I love the way his hair is so long, that they curve upwards to the sky, at the nape of his neck. And I am in love with his towering height, and how comforted I feel when he leans forward to gently dust my forehead with his sweet kisses.

My soul is set ablaze with his love. I'm burning the hottest furnace of love there ever has been in my heart. It makes me want to be a better person, because I am loved by him, and him; I. Everything they ever wrote about, described, sang, told about, idolized about this concept of "love", I finally understand. Now I know why Nabokov could write the way he did about Lolita. 

33. love encapsulated in one picture.

The sexiest and sweetest couple ever.

Hurrah for internet connection!

Finally my housemates fixed a new internet connection for the house - our old one had "baki tertunggak" (leftover payments) from the previous housemates. Harumph, it really disrupted the work. Seeing as google is our best friend for assignments haha!

A lot has happened.. we have at least minimum three presentations every week, and since the mid semester break is over our lecturers are determined to bombard us with quizzes and tests. So I have been busy. This has not been helped by Sarah lending me her Twilight collection books. Nuuu. I finished half the book last night when I was supposed to be studying, ehh.A cockroach climbed over my roomie's face and she leapt out of bed, though I was fast asleep. I told her, the cockroach probably went on my face first and realized there was no interaction with me so the roachie jumped ship to her face.

I know people say Valentine's Day is commercialized, overrated, it suxxxx blah blah but whatever, to me if you have that special someone, you just go out and celebrate. I mean, if you are with someone you're going to end up having dinner with them or lunchies or whatever spectacular plans it is, right? So might as well reap the benefits.

He took me to this spectacular place called Tatto in Jalan Damai, Ampang. It was a cozy Italian restaurant with expensive food pickings. But it was so romantic, they placed rosebuds in a heart pattern on the table and sprinkled glitter all over the table. He made me close my eyes all the way in the car to the restaurant.


The front menu.


It was really romantic but he destroyed the petals when he pulled his chair closer to mine.




He was looking pretty hot in a white-and-blue-stripey shirt.


The patio outside with an authentic oven.


The settings was more dim than this.


We shared beef carpaccio. This was really good. Mmm. I salivate just to think of it.


My crabmeat risotto. This was quite delicious, although I felt that the crabmeat was not enough/big enough =/


His angus beefsteak penne or something, I forgot. This was okay.

As always, I am behind my blogs, but thanks to the internet connection, there'll be more frequent updates. Huzzah. I need to go and "lepak" at other places in KL btw, so bored of shisha shisha shisha in damai (which has new staff btw =( ). Any recommendations? Anyone wanna jump on board?