78. khusus kahwin

Last weekend, me and my fiancé went to the compulsory khusus kahwin every Muslim couple in Malaysia has to take before getting married. In my head, I was like greaaaat.... a weekend gone... what can they teach me anyway? It was RM 80 at Masjid Al-Taqwa, TTDI.

So. Negative.

It was 2 pm - 7 pm on Saturday, and 8.30 am - 5.45 pm on Sunday, can you imagine?

So okaylah, I went there with the mindset to just get it over with.. faster take my cert.. 

But to my surprise, I learnt a lot.

I learnt about what a husband's duty is, and a wife's expected duties. About the doa sunat to read before... you know. I found out more about talak, and why a husband has to say it three times. Why women are not given the power. What the reasons are for getting married:

• Untuk memperoleh ketenangan hidup, kasih sayang dan ketenteraman
• Memelihara kesucian diri
• Melaksanakan tuntutan syariat
• Menjaga keturunan
• Cara yang halal untuk menyalurkan nafsu seks
• Mewujudkan kerjasama dan tanggungjawab
• Dapat mengeratkan silaturahim

So you get the gist. Going there, opened my heart even more to become a better Muslim, and also, to try
 and be the best wife possible. Insha Allah, I will try.

But when I looked to the men's side, where my fiance was sitting, he was asleep, mouth wide open -

77. a moment to remember

This is my seventy-seventh post! 
Wazzaaap. 7 is my lucky number, so double seven means double luck.

So, to watermark this momentous week (cause I just celebrated my 26th birthday on 7th April!) I want to post about what a sweet, romantic moment I had on Monday, 7th April 2014. Because it's so beautiful. Because it's an endearing moment. Because I want to be able, to remember this story, when I'm 40, 50, 60, or 70, and I want to remember all the details. Because if my kids ever asked about the day their father proposed, this will be the story ~~

I came back home on my birthday, and my fiancé was wearing his black slacks, looking out of place in the kitchen. He said he had a 'surprise for me'. I suppose the surprise was him cooking a birthday meal for me. He didn't want me to enter the kitchen, and shoo-ed me to:

"Go and do stuff, I don't know baby, go watch your movie or something".

So I was just minding my own business, looking at floral arrangements for my headband business (oh ya I have tons and tons of artificial flowers at home). Then, he came to me saying, "baby, I don't want you to see this, but can you help me open this??" As a person who cooks, I knew what the package was when I saw the gold, vacumn-packed sheets... beef bacon strips!! Haha. His first time cooking a complete meal and he didn't even know how to open a sealed pack. Ishk ishk.

After I opened it, I went about my own business (note: groom cats). Barely a few minutes later, he asked me:

"Baby, how can you tell if a errr, ahmmm, springy carbohydrate is cooked?"

-____- So I already knew, he was cooking pasta. Pasta + beef bacon = carbonara for dinner. I told him to how to cook pasta al dente (to him, it means it's not so starchy anymore).

So then I went about my business again... barely had  time to sit down... Then he called me to the kitchen to ask me:

"BABYYYYY IT DOESN'T LOOK GOOD".

He had also used salt very sparingly so it tasted so bland haha. So I added in some Italian seasoning, salt, and pepper.

He told me to go into my room after everything, and told me not to leave the room at all costs. After 15 minutes, I asked him,"baby?? How long more is it gonna take?? I'm hungry"! And he shouted:

"PATIENCE I'LL CALL YOU WHEN I'M DONE." 

I folded some clothes whilst waiting for him. Was super hungry. Then, finally he called me.

So I came out of the room. It was pitch black.
Except for a trail of dim tealights.
Jessie J's "Domino" acoustic version was playing in the background.

It lead to a table, where the tealights spelled "MARRY ME?".



Here's the funny part. I was dressed in a baggy yellow shirt, and he was dressed in black slacks and a checkered red-and-white collared shirt, and smelled really good. So I ran back to my room shouting:

"BABY WHY DO YOU LOOK SO HANDSOME?"

He looked so baffled haha. I changed into a red dress I had.  Walked out again, this time, he held my hand, said 'I love you', then got down on one knee. I actually can't remember what he said, I was really overwhelmed with emotions. He had set the table next to the balcony, it was pitch black, and we could make out the hills and the highway lights in the dark. He told me he had sweated so much trying to set up the candles haha.

The pasta was alright, but it was a beautiful night. A night to remember. He mentioned the last time he saw me wear the red dress was to a date we had in Publika. The restaurant's closed now. We talked, about our future. And I know, this man, who attempted to cook for me, is truly the man for me. And I can't wait to grow old and have kids with him :)

72. Making the hantaran (Part II)

For part I, click http://latteandfrap.blogspot.com/2014/01/71-making-hantaran.html 

Sorry guys, have been busy with a new job, cleaning up houses, cat problems, wedding plannings etc. I'm sad to say that my photographer didn't capture pictures of the hantaran individually, just as a group, so there's no pictures that focuses particularly on every hantaran. A bit sad, as the hantaran arrangements were really nice and these pictures doesn't really do it justice, but it was miscommunication on my part too. She still did an amazing job with the photos.

By the way,  if you are look for dulang hantaran arrangements, on a budget, contact me at 012-6355432 :) We can work out a budget, I'm sure of it. Whatsapp or SMS me!

Anyway, here's the gist of the hantaran:

(Top shelf L-R: Fruit basket, Ferrero Roccher, two books - Ibn Al-Arabi's Bezels of Wisdom & Bounty of Allah; Bottom shelf L - R: Macaroons tier, cookies  and pineapple tarts, and sireh junjung).

As you can see, the decoration was very simple, but sweet and romantic. Here are some shots of the dulang, pre-decorated, with some details.

1. Sireh junjung

I really wished there was a picture of the sireh junjung as it was made the night before with Sheila and my stepgrandmother. One of my best friends, Sheila, was supposed to bring fresh roses for the sireh junjung, but due to complications, we ended up using a mix of fake roses for the hantarans. Doesn't matter, still looked beautiful. It was RM 6 for a stem of 5 flowers. I bought 6 stems, along with some fake lavender stems (RM 5 per stem) and two bunch of hydrangeas (RM 3 per stem). No pictures for this, the base was just the  base polystyrene covered in lilac silk fabric.

2. Macaroons

The counter lady lied too, and said that the macaroons wouldn't melt. Well it did!! It was like RM 4 per piece and wouldn't fit into the container I had  prepared earlier. It came in an ugly box where you couldn't see anything. Ugh I would have changed this idea if I had the chance. Future brides, please don't get macaroons. They meltttt. The stand was borrowed from Sheila, polished by a best friend, Sarah, using coca cola haha. That stuff works.

3. Fruit basket

My best friend, Cellene, made the arrangements of the flowers on the fruit basket - it looks so sweet, right? I forgot to take the glass container from my house, so we had to arrange the fruits carefully, less the cherries and grapes fell out. Thank you to my mom for buying the fruits, she insisted on paying Alhamdulillah. The trick is to pour some minyak masak (I used olive oil LOL) onto tissue paper and wipe all the fruits with it. TQ Sheila for helping me with every little cherry.

4. Ferrero Rocher

We were scratching our heads to present the ferrero rocher because the box was wider than the hantaran tray. I sawed off some polystyrene somewhere and pinned it to the base using pinheads, and managed to "artfully" arrange the chocolate box. There were two circular stickers on the top casing (now covered by the white flowers) which said something like Merry Christmas LOLOL so my stepgrandmother managed to cover it. Yay!

5. Cookies and pineapple tart

We cut circles from the balance of the lilac silk fabric used to line all the trays and glue-gunned it to the top of the container head, which was an ugly red (if you live in Malaysia, you know what I'm talking about...). Then we gluegunned some ribbons (90 cents from a shop!) and some beaded flower decos. I loved the deco for this tray (Cellene decorated it) but there's no close-up shot of it.

6. Book

Two books, purchased from Kinokuniya - the total was almost RM 200. I love this dulang too.

7. Cake

The cake stand was basically half of Cellene's vacumn cleaner box, cut in half, then covered with layers of shimmering white and lilac organza paper, with the flowers gluegunned to death on it. I think the cake box was a bit overdone to be honest, but we learn from past mistakes. If you are planning hantaran ideas, please do not get Secret Recipe cakes. Originally I had planned to get cheesecake, but upon the cashier's advicement - she told me cheesecake would melt and chocolate cake would last the whole day - the cake had melted and sagged a mere few hours later.

Conclusion

Maybe I'm 'syiok sendiri' (full of myself) for saying my hantaran is cantik, but I think it was beautiful because my closest and dearest helped me with decorating it :) The dulang can be re-used for my future solemnization event. I'm always thinking of ways to cut cost and diy-ing everything myself so my friends and family become victim to my project haha. Learned a lot, so I'm more prepared for my wedding hantaran now. I actually enjoy my time doing this, so if you are look for dulang hantaran arrangements, on a budget, contact me at 012-6355432 (whatsapp/sms/call) :) I loved trying to find the flowers, matching the color combos etc. and I know how stressful it is, so do contact me!

71. making the hantaran

According to Malay customs, the groom will give a certain number of hantaran (gifts), usually in odd numbers, which the bride reciprocates with additional two hantarans in return. The hantaran will be exchanged twice: once during the tunang (engagement ceremony), once during the akad nikah (solemnization ceremony). Usually for the engagement, perishable items are exchanged, along with one item that is meant for your fiancée-to-be.

He gave me five trays and in return, I gave back seven trays. He gave me:

1. Tepak sirih
2. Fruit basket
3. A jar of chocolates
4. Kain (fabric to make clothes with)
5. Engagement ring

So I reciprocated with:

1. Sireh junjung
2. Fruit basket
3. Chocolates (Ferrero Rocher)
4. Chocolate cake (Secret Recipe sudehhh) this melted under the heat
5. Pineapple tarts + cookies
6. Macaroons please do not get this as it melts really, really fast
7. 2 books - The Bounty of Allah and Ibn Al Arabi - The Bezels of Wisdom

Initially I was going to hire someone else to decorate the hantaran as I had no idea how to even proceed with such a task. After researching, I was quite shocked at the price demanded... and I read that many girls did their own deco for their hantaran, so I decided to visit Semua House (Jalan Tunku Abdul Rahman) and GM Klang. I scored some trays and stands, flowers, ribbons, sequins, fabric, and details for a considerable amount less than what I would have paid someone else to do it for.

My choice of flowers was based on my dress (lilac); so I bought white, lilac and green paper roses (which looked pretty real), some lavender stems and some hydrangeas (not in picture). One bunch (had 5 flowers) was around RM 5.90.

The flower choices may look odd to you, but after we made the hantaran, it looked very nice hehe. Will update in part II about the hantaran... TBC ;)

70. engagement!

Apologies for the late blog post :) It has been a very busy and hectic past few months, and I hope to keep updating frequently now so I can look back from the future and chronicle my journey... towards becoming a future wife :) That's right! I was engaged on fourth January, 2014 :)

As of now, I am someone's fiancée. I will post soon about the process, from merisik, to engagement, and to the future wedding plans. Pretty much everything up to now has been diy, and with the good grace and help of my family and friends :) Will post pictures and my journey for this beautiful chapter of my life one by one. 

All I can say is it took me twenty five years to finally find a man I can hopefully look on to, to lead me physically, spiritually, and emotionally. In return, I hope to be his crutch for the rest of our lives together. He is my best friend, my confidante, my joy, my everything. I am so excited to be embarking on this journey to tie our union together. As for now, here's a picture of me and my fiancee :)